Who doesn’t want a child who sits down to study independently, responsibly, without needing someone next to them giving instructions or encouragement?
And yet… many children — even in high school — can’t study without help from mom or dad. You often hear parents say: “We have homework today.” As if it’s something they need to do together.
If you’ve ever said that, you’re not alone.
And maybe now you’re wondering: When was the moment I should’ve stepped back but didn’t? The answer isn’t in first or second grade. It starts much earlier.
The truth is… it starts the moment a child is born.
I remember developing that skill in my own son when he was still a baby.
I let him hold his bottle, even if he got soaked.
I let him put on his shoes, even if they were on the wrong feet.
I let him eat with his hands, even if most of the food ended up on the floor.
I let him climb, fall, and get back up again on the playground.
I let him dress himself, tidy up, make toast, set the table, do puzzles — ALL BY HIMSELF.
I was always there.
But one step behind.
Because that’s how I showed him I believed he could. That it’s okay to make mistakes. That I trusted him.
I gave him space to feel capable. To learn persistence. To solve problems. To become responsible.
And if you now feel that you’ve offered more help than was really needed — don’t lose heart.
You had your reasons. No one gave you a manual.
But remember this: it’s never too late to take a step back.
If you were hoping for more practical tips on how to help your child study independently — those will come in the next article. But until then, don’t forget:
Independence begins with the simplest things.
With showing them you trust them.
Maria Lazarou
Speech and Language Therapist (SLP, BSc, M.A.)
Head of the Multidisciplinary Team, Evlogon
